crazy pain

I have flare ups like everybody else with Fibromyalgia and autoimmune diseases, but sometimes the pain is so bad I feel like I'm losing my mind.


I have to say that I am not having a flare up. I have severe pain everyday. Somedays it's worse than others. However, it's at the point where I can barely do anything, let alone go anywhere.


A short trip to the store might leave me exhausted and bedridden with heating pads for the rest of the day. The same with a trip to the doctor.


The reason I'm telling you all of this about me is for all of you that can relate. You're not crazy. The pain is real. And if you have Sjogren's Syndrome you have all of the eye, mouth and all sorts of other problems besides terrible joint pain.


Today I handled the severe "flare up" of the day by trying to organize my desk. I couldn't sit still because my legs were having a strange pain that made them need to move. So I went downstairs for no reason, back up stairs and then I did it again. By then I had made the pain worse and I needed to be still (with my heating pads).


The positive thing I did next was calling a friend. I talked a little about my pain, but I listened to her problems and it calmed me down. After the call I wasn't acting so crazy. I took care of myself.


So, all I wanted to express today is that pain can get so bad we feel crazy. Obviously it isn't good to act crazy. We aren't crazy. We just have extraordinary levels of pain. It's not in our heads and I hope no one feels that maybe some of the pain is in his/her head. It's real. Very real.


When the pain gets crazy try to do something calming. Deep breaths, journaling, talking to someone who empathizes, taking a warm bath.


We're not crazy- even if the pain makes us act that sometimes.


peace & love,
sunee