doing nothing

In this time of multitasking, parents and children texting while they talk to one another, no one talking eye to eye or even taking a moment to really invest in what is going on, maybe it's time to do a little nothing.

I don't mean stuck-in-one-place, never reaching or changing or growing, "I'll stay this way forever," kind of nothing. I don't even mean put half the work down or don't drive an answer email at the same time.

Nothing is, of course, open to interpretation.

I'm referring to a stretching out on a blanket and cloud watching, taking a nap, lounging in a favorite chair with a magazine, or, my personal favorite, a long, hot bath.

Why all this nothing? There are things to do! Take it from an ex-workaholic who still suffers from ADHD even if my body can't keep up. I worked and worked and thought about work. I had headaches, tension in my neck, less patience and less smiles.

Slowing down reminds us to take a breath. To enjoy a nice day. To really listen because we're moving a little slower, a little lighter.

A little nothing is good. It brings about a lot of somethings we forget about- better health. I know that those of us who suffer from chronic pain conditions and such must rest. We need nothing time. Doing errands or housework or this or that isn't nothing.

So, I encourage everyone to practice a little nothing here or there. Slow down. Be present. And, we might just get a little more done.

peace and love,

sunee

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Sometimes it seems as though we take two steps backwards as soon as we've made some progress in any area of our lives. Maybe we've removed a few stressors from our lives, got on a great new nutritional regime, worked on breathing rather than freaking out, had a few pain-free days- whatever.

Life, however, doesn't always acknowledge our efforts. Or does it? When we get pummeled with a stressful situation, heartache, unbearable pain or any other difficult time to get through it's easy to think, "What was all that work on myself for? Why am I even more behind than I was yesterday?" Or, for the real victim types, "Why me?"

I think that we know exactly what to do most of the time. Every setback, every bit of stress and pain, gives us the opportunity to us the skills that got us ahead in the first place.

Slowing down and breathing, meditating and remembering that too much stress just causes a vicious cycle. For those of us with chronic pain conditions, this can bring on horrible flare-ups. I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly don't need any extra flare-ups. I get plenty.

I personally don't want to wind up two steps backward when I worked like mad to get forward at all. We have to always be mindful of how much we can take, and when we should slow down and regroup.

When you feel stuck read something positive, find someone who loves and understands you, journal, meditate... anything is better than the poor me's two steps behind.

peace and love,

sunee

It's easy to lose patience with ones self. We do it for so many reasons- we forgot something important, we didn't handle a situation well, we aren't reaching a goal fast enough or maybe we didn't reach it at all.

All of this gets complicated for those of us with chronic illnesses. Not only do we do all of the above due to pain, fatigue, discomfort and the whole host of problems that we have, we also have to gracefully decline invitations, miss fun activities and even let our families down by being laid up so often.

All of this can easily frustrate a person to no end, clearly, but if we treat ourselves with patience, with loving kindness, we can eliminate the negative feelings that often perpetuate the pain and so on. Constantly berating ourselves for what we can no longer do can bring on pain in all sorts of ways, depending on your condition. Even too many pity parties can leave us feeling worn out, fatigued, in pain and overly emotional.

Stuff happens and we just have to roll with it. When I don't I personally get the severe burning fibromyalgia pain in many parts of my body coupled with stomach problems, fatigue and often more. Sometimes it gets worse than that- all because I couldn't go to an event I wanted to or because my wrists hurt far to bad to type. So, guess what? I don't get to type that day. It really shouldn't be the end of the world. And, for the week I was really feeling bad the world didn't end AND my mac was waiting for me.

Unless living in Painland on Negative street is your cup of tea, maybe it's time to slow down and realize that, yes, we have a few limitations, but it's okay. The "bad" days are signals for us to slow down. Take a break. Take a nap. Take a hot bath. Take care of yourself.

If you find that you're getting impatient with yourself because of the things you really cannot control, don't force things. If you can't be patient and wait until next time, try giving yourself a time out. It works for me. I even let my family ground me so I have to stay home and rest. (I've been known to be a teeny bit stubborn.)

Basically, we all do what we have to feel good and get through the day (with a smile).

peace and love,

sunee

Poor me. No one has it as bad as I do. I have the worst luck. Poor poor me. No one understands how bad I have it. How could they? I have it so much worse!

Do you ever catch yourself on that train to victimville? It's a long, lonely ride, my friends. Being a victim and living in that lonely town of I have it the worst can really mess with our minds and our bodies.

First of all, lots of people have lots of bad things, right? It's apples and oranges. We can't compare our pain to someone else's. My level 7 might be someone else's 10. It's like comparing heartbreaks. We can commiserate, but we really can't compare.

So, how do we let people know what's going on without acting like a victim all the time? There are so many ways. I try educating my family on my conditions and what symptoms and pain I regularly have. They have visual cues. I don't need to say a lot about it, so when I do they know it's serious.

I think it all reverts back to educating ourselves no matter what our condition. Taking proper care requires knowledge, not hearsay and guess work. When we're scared we feel trapped by our conditions, victimized by fate. Fear is always lessened by knowing what is happening to our bodies, in our lives, whatever the situation.

We have choices. We can take the train to victimville, fight our pain like a demon enemy (and lose) and be miserable like we knew we would be. Or, we can learn to understand the source of any pain and deal with it, learning to roll with what life hands us.

A lot of people understand me, surprisingly :) It's certainly better here, but there's a train pulling up for victimville if you're not ready to be understood.

We'll listen, when you're ready.

peace and love,

sunee

Everything is harder, scarier, more painful, just plain worse it seems when we are isolating. There are so many reasons we do it. A lot of those reasons are excuses or are born from fear.

I don't want to be a bother, people have their own troubles and I'm just full of problems with all my pain et cetera (and other martyr-like thoughts). Isn't it funny that we (ok, I) think of my friendship as a bother rather than a gift to someone at times?

It's legit to think that people won't understand a condition like fibromyalgia (and Sjogren's Syndrome and all like conditions), but true friends will learn about what's going on and hang out doing what we're able to do- even if that's just a TV watching visit or playing a board game or maybe having tea and a chat.

Everyone fly the coup? Try not to sit around moping. It's horrible for our health and then we really aren't any fun to be around anyway. Reach out. It's so important. Join a community online, reach out to family, reinvest in a friendship you let slip away because everyone was so busy.

It sounds so easy, but I know it can be difficult. Conditions like these often cause depression due to chronic pain, then we're lonely too? I've been through it. I was sad and hurt and a little prideful. Where were all the people I befriended during their low points?

Look forward. Reach out. Forget pride and try to rekindle meaningful relationships. Your health and happiness depend on it. Don't live on isolation island. It's only cool in movies and on TV.

Peace and Love,

sunee

staying present

When everything gets crazy and piles up all at once, as it always does, right? We're never handed a problem to handled simply and then once that's solved, on to the next. Or are we?

I used to thrive on the drama (big pun intended for all who know me) and use all the stress as a sort of confused energy to handled every single thing right this very minute.

Being ill has not only slowed me down but has also made me realize that there is a very simple art to handling the "when all hell breaks loose" days. It's a form of triage. (I know, I know, another pun.) Whatever or whoever needs immediate attention gets it. The rest can wait til their number is called.

And, guess what? I might be the one who need attention first. I may need to regroup before I

deal with any chaos because stress causes many negative reactions for those of us with fibro and/or autoimmune conditions-namely, pain!

We have choices. Taking a time out

over some green tea (Yogi Teas make many delicious blends as well as a calming tea) to put things in perspective. If time permits, a warm bath or some inspirational reading material. Writing in a journal. Calling a friend. Scrap booking. Word games.

These little changes in how we deal with life's ups and downs help to keep us balanced. When we're balanced we might

be able to control pain flare-ups just a little. And that little bit counts!

So, slow down. Quiet the mind chatter and just deal with right now. Just right now. It's okay to relax a little and take care of yourself. I'm just learning how myself :)

I Can

by sunee lyn foley

here

right now

I can.

I no longer

have to

fix

everything

and

everyone

I just need

to adjust

to what

really is

right now.

Not projected

reality

or

everything

at once.

Not the

he said

she said

stress train

to painville.

Right now

what is

present

I can handle

today.

Peace and love,

sunee

counting blessings when all else fails

Some days it's just hard to feel a sense of gratitude. Maybe we have pain- physical and/or emotional, stress over money, grief over loved ones, just a general sense of TOO MUCH leads us to feel that nothing is right or good in our worlds.

I tend to make lists of my blessings, gratitude lists, whatever you like to call them, pretty regularly. Sometimes I do it in my head, sometimes I write it out because I need a little more convincing. And, sometimes, on really bad pain days, I have to get down to the basics. I'm blessed to have this day. I'm blessed to have all I need today, right now, this minute.

Once I am reminded of how blessed I am, and sometimes it takes longer than others- I may backslide into the "but I have pain everywhere and nothing eases it" kin

d of thinking, I find relaxing, easy on the mind activities. Like coloring.

Or, maybe cooking. It's okay to have someone else chop and ask the butcher the cut the meat up for you. It doesn't cost anymore, and there's no waste. At Whole Foods Market I buy my chicken breasts and they cube them for me, ready for any dish I

need cut up chicken, and I never hurt my wrists doing it. (Plus it's organic.) When you buy the veggies prepped you actually save your wrists and time and there's no waste. That's worth an extra 79 cents to me.

Basically, once I'm calm and realize I'm blessed I can take that energy and use it in a variety of positive and different ways. I don't need to be held captive by my pain or stress or fears because I know my life offers a plethora of things to be grateful for.

I'm grateful for this place to write what's one my mind and I thank you for sharing it with me.

peace and love,

sunee

staying present

It's easy to project, imagine, go back in our minds before anything happened, worry and what if ourselves silly. After all, there is so much to worry about, so much stress, our bodies aren't right at all (at least mine isn't) and the list goes on.

How much we miss if we aren't present for what is actually happening now. Today. This hour. This minute.

Did you laugh today? Crack a real, genuine smile? Say something heartfelt eye-to-eye? Sit outside and enjoy the breeze?

I felt pretty crappy this morning. All aches and stiffness all over. Knees giving out. Wrists not moving well. Numbness. Bad start. But I am not willing to give up this day to it. I read what inspires me, sitting on my patio, sun wind chimes ringing and my struggling garden and dogs enjoying the breeze while the sky was blue.

I talked with my son, too. Eye to eye. About nothing really. Just nice conversation that we were invested in, not multitasking during. I'm not saying you can't cook dinner and talk to your loved ones genuinely. I mean, put down the phone, laptop, et cetera and be.

Work was everything to me, but my children got to be a part of that. I keep my loved and dear ones near to me when I can. Of course, that's not always my choice and I have roll with those things, too.

Today is a lovely day to be alive regardless of anything. But I have to make it that way by reading affirmations (see Sark's Living Juicy Daily Morsels for Your Creative Soul pictured). I read from many sources, some just bits and pieces here and there, but I keep them available to me so when I'm low I can fill myself up with the good stuff.

Here are some wonderful quotes from Stephen Mitchell's The Essence of Wisdom (pictured):

"A single atom of sweetness of wisdom in a man's heart is better than a thousand pavilions in Paradise." Abu Yazid a-Bistami (Page 53)

"Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity." Lao-tzu (Page 40)

"It is proper to doubt. Do not be led by holy scriptures, or by mere logic or inference, or by appearances, or by the authority of religious teachers. But when you realize that something is unwholeseome and bad for you, give it up. And when you realize that something is wholesome and good for you, do it." The Buddha (Page 11)

So presently I am going to make a gratitude list and thank a few people before I go back to my tea and an inspirational book. It's a great day, like, well, all of them.

peace and love,

sunee

Pity Parties aren't much fun. No one comes. You just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, maybe crying, ranting, venting, cussing and all the rest. It's exhausting and doesn't do much. (Especially for the complextion.)

Not that a little boohooing isn't called for now and again. I'm a crier, I should know. But, honestly, I cannot boohoo my conditions and hand I've been dealt all the time. It isn't healthy or very fulfilling.

For many of us, like myself, life took a drastic turn and when we became ill and we didn't know what to do with ourselves. Even resting with my trusty heating pads and green tea (high in antioxidants) I get antsy, feel useless at times, get stir crazy...

We have options. I work in my playbook journal by Sark (pictured) or read. I play word games. I invite people over for visits. I don't know if they would come if I invited them to my pity party as opposed to coming over for Scrabble or lunch or even tea.

No one free to visit? A phone call might do the trick. I'm not saying don't reach out during a meltdown, I just don't want to live in poor me land, sipping on bitter life tea- alone.

I used to be afraid or embarrassed to tell everyone about my conditions, but that alone was like a pity party, table for one. No one can befriend me if I don't let them in. And, it's so important for those of us with chronic conditions and pain to have the bright light of friendship in our lives so we don't isolate.

reaching out

by sunee lyn foley

If I reach my hand out to yours

will you accept it-

with all of my short comings-

now that I am no longer

the life of the party?

I no longer hide

from the gift of

laughing and sharing

and crying and giving

that friendship brings.

I will take the loving

hands that have been

so graciously

extended to me

and I will no longer

be alone on

this new road.

So, don't be surprised if I invite you to a party. Just know that it will be a joyous one filled with games and treats and fun. Knowing me I just might cry anyway.

peace and love,

sunee

Fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome and staying calm

I used to be the Drama Queen. Literally. Running the Drama program, living everything Drama- including the tears, the stress, and the long hours. I loved the frenzy, getting the most out of people on stage, watching what seemed impossible come together.

Now I am the hot bath and antioxidant queen :) It's a different life, but the joy is where look for it. I'm learning to love the quiet mornings, time to read, and of course, time to take care of my body. That's a full-time job. I need rest, exercise (appropriate), self-discovery time which I use to read positive materials such as those by Sark :) I need to act slower- not rush into a stressed out, hyped up mess every time a new challenge appears.

My biggest challenge is to keep my cool as pain sets in. Slow onset I can stay mellow, but when it comes on quick I often start to panic. I might get antsy. My restless leg syndrome legs want to pace. My thoughts are coming to fast, on top of one another. I can't listen to anyone. I quietly suffer and pace.

That's a bit silly when I have a few other options. Like deep breathing, first of all. In long through the nose, out the same length through the mouth. Quieting the mind chatter with music that calms me down. A hot bath. And, one of my favorites, Mindfulness meditation.

I'm not the one to teach you how to do it, but I'll lead you to where the best info on it is. I can practice it anywhere, anytime. There is a Complete Idiot's guide and some iphone apps, but my favorite is a CD I bought for $9.99 on itunes: Mindful Meditations by Diana Winston. She has a lovely voice to talk you through and it's realistic. These really help me treat my pain like a body reaction and not my enemy! I have tried MANY different styles, books, CDs and I learned the most from Mindful Meditations and had much relief!

There are so many ways to meditate, but for me this works. The style helps focus intently and helps deal with good old mind chatter. Find something that works for you. Life is stressful and we need ways to just let our mind and body refresh before the next "thing."

I've learned that I can take meds, vitamins, herbs, minerals et cetera, but if I'm not taking care to stay peaceful and calm (as calm as I can haha) than I will have less healing. It all works together.

the sky is falling

by sunee lyn foley

the sky is falling.

there are pieces of my world falling down

all around me

and I cannot find an umbrella big enough to get under

while i try to figure out

what’s first and what’s lost

but-

the sky is falling.

i often feel i am losing every battle.

people i love. disease. money.

the sky is falling

in bits and pieces around me.

the sky is falling.

my circle grows tighter. smaller.

fair-weathered friends have flown

to less dangerous locales

no emotional how do you do’s

and all that. besides,

i can’t offer as fun and frolic

in my current state.

the sky is falling.

and I wake up (smiling) everyday

to face challenges i never knew existed,

not to mention the depth of,

even after living through a traumatic childhood.

the sky is falling.

yet i dig deep, finding my spirit,

though i must admit to floundering

under ridiculous pain.

i’ve even dared to think my fortitude

may be weakening along with my body.

the sky is falling.

when the pieces are falling and

my body isn’t working

how do i

hold up the sky then?

I have lots to say, but for now-

peace & love,

sunee