give and take

I have been called stubborn many times in my life, and I'm apt to agree when it, but I'm also very open to compromise. 

Granted, my willingness to compromise improved dramatically when I got sick, but I am willing now and that's what matters.

I don't want to be stuck in my stubborn spot alone, unwilling to yield to the wants of others. I don't mean if someone needs me- if that's the case I'll always compromise. 

Having Sjogren's Syndrome and fibromyalgia has taught me a lot about living. I used to be more rigid with my time. I would adjust to other people's problems and circumstances but made no consolation for myself, no matter what.

I used to keep a very busy schedule with long work hours, leaving me no time to take care of myself or relax. There was no wiggle room in my schedule to squeeze in even a coffee with a friend.

I have learned that there is a balance, a compromise, between work, rest and other pursuits a person might have. Now that I don't work I get it. At least I allow myself time to pursue writing now. I squeezed writing in where ever I could before. 

Both the Sjogren's and the fibro have taught me to be flexible when making plans and schedules for myself- even if that plan is simply to do the laundry. Some days I don't feel well enough to tackle even that load of laundry, and it's nothing to get upset over (that's a whole different topic!) but I used to let things like that upset me.

When I can't keep my schedule to write because of pain I try to keep my mind open to compromise. I don't want to get all stressed out and mad, only to have more pain. On those days I'm trying to compromise. I use that time to read about writing. (And if I don't feel up to reading I really don't mind that I'm not on schedule anymore!)

Being better at compromising has saved me from being stressed or bummed out over countless things that haven't gone my way at home. For the longest time I have wanted to create a lovely reading space in my house. 

It would be a smallish area, cozy with a huge bookshelf filled with all of my favorite books. Next to that would be a chaise lounge or over sized chair and a little side table big enough to hold my coffee or tea. 

That isn't going to happen. I could be pissy, angry and sad over it, or I can make the best of my situation. I can, however, put a nice sized book shelf in my bedroom and read on my patio when the weather is nice. It isn't what I planned, but I can make it work and be happy. 

I have been thinking a lot about compromising. I wonder if I set a good example of being flexible- of rolling with what happens, what is, rather than some ideal I have in my mind. Life is always give and take. That give and take, I think, is where a lot of the goodness we never expected is.

Hopefully I'll be willing to compromise the next time I'm stuck. I plan to be. I plan to give, and quite possibly take. And, it' okay. Nothing will be lost in the translation. 

peace and love,
sunee