Pain makes me anxious. Sometimes it makes me cranky. I have to admit though, the worse the pain, the more anxious I get until I often go into a full blown panic attack. It feels so scary to have pain that intense I cannot calm down enough to let the medication work and just wait it out.
Meditating or just watching TV would probably help, but when the pain reaches a certain point there's often no settling me down.
One major thing I want to work on is avoiding such ordeals. I'm a pretty positive gal, generally speaking. I look on the bright side and I make things work. What I need to work on is taking those good qualities and using them when I need them most.
Having my family see me freaking out doesn't make me feel very good about myself, though I try to shield them from it. Except my poor husband, who sees the real panic.
I don't often feel sorry for myself that I have pretty intense Fibromyalgia or Sjogren's Syndrome, even though I feel the effects daily. Lately at an elevated level. I'm not big on pity parties. They aren't fun, since no one comes and it sets a bad tone for the whole family.
There are so many things to be happy about, be thankful for and enjoy even when pain is at it's worse. Times when the pain is at it's worse might be a good time to focus on my children. Talk with them, watch a movie or, if I'm lucky, get them to play a game with me. It's a diversion and it connects me with what makes me the happiest.
Talking about nothing special, focusing on someone else, like my husband or my mom, and what is going on with them can get me out of myself. Once I've given my attention to someone or something else, I can stop focusing on the pain and enjoy my loved ones.
It doesn't always work. I'm not going to lie or negate the fact that the pain often overrides our best efforts to stay positive and fun. I do have to admit, however, that the more I at least try the better it is for everyone involved.
No one wants to live with someone that complains all of the time. They don't want to constantly hear how bad we feel or what we cannot do. We, of course, have to be honest and set limits, but we don't have to be a big negative influence everyone tries to avoid.
Most import for those of us with pain, a positive attitude helps lower pain levels. And, in my case and probably others, anxiety levels.
I've always been known for my "Sunee" disposition and I don't want that to change because I have chronic, ridiculously intense, pain.
May you find your happy spirit and stay positive and pain free.
peace and love,
sunee
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