trust

Trust from What I Wish for You by Isaac David Garuda, Ph.D
"May you not burden yourself with a need to make sense out of everything."

Trust- that we know everything we need to. I had never thought not having all the answers was some sort of freedom. I had always burdened myself with a need to make sense out of everything. And I didn't just carry my burden. I would like to say people came to me for answers, but, truly, I let them place their burdens on me.

I know I am guilty of spending hours, days, wondering why things happened the way they have. Why am I sick? I spent my life as a genuinely generous person. Generous with my time, energy and emotions. Generous with my belongings, whatever money I have had at any given time. Everything.

How can I trust that everything happens for a reason- that I don't need to make sense of this unfair happening- when I get a nagging feeling every so often that it is unjust? I know, nothing in life is fair. Why I even think in terms of fair or unjust is a mystery to me since I am constantly consoling people about this very issue!

But, if we can trust, believe, we don't need to know why. We need to keep moving forward

Alas it's true, at a point I had to let it go and trust that it happening for a reason I may never understand. Or no "reason" at all. It just is, even if it sucks. Wasting anymore of my time, energy or emotions trying to understand why is counter productive, and, probably foolish. 

I have to trust and believe that it's not for me to make sense of, trust that it is out of my control. And that's freedom. I cannot control this situation. I won't make it worse by analyzing, scrutinizing and worrying

Once we aren't bogged down with trying to figure out why, we can spend our time and energies dealing with what is. I have wondered if fear kept me looking for reasons rather than dealing with the present.  

Fear, anger, grief, heartache and so many more- strong feelings and emotions steer us in the wrong direction sometimes. Maybe we've lost faith and we aren't able to trust. But once we get out of that maze of "Why is this happening to me?" we will have all the answers we need to know.

Life is complicated enough. Why try to understand what we aren't meant to? Even without our interference most things work themselves out. Trust. 

peace and love,
sunee