patience?

I want it now! I want to go now! I need to know now! If you tell me I'll be your best friend! Can I please have it now? I can't wait any longer!

Many of us have said these things, and many similar ones, because we we want what we want when we want it.

I am not a patient person. Which, by the way, is not a pun. (Patient! get it? I'm a patient more often than I'm patient.) I can be patient and show patience, be an example of patience, but I am not patient. The waiting eats me up inside.

I am not just referring to waiting for presents on my anniversary or birthday, I mean everything from refinancing decisions to blood test results.

Christmas and Hanukkah build up an excitement when we wait. I may not like waiting for time to open presents, but I love watching everyone's expressions when they open their gifts and the wait was worth it.

But, all the MRIs and blood tests and other medical tests that you don't get any answers until someone reads them and gives them to someone else to tell you- we're looking at the better part of a week, if not a week.

And, to make matters worse, during this week, all anyone says to you is, "Did you get the test results back yet?" and, "What's taking so long?"

I shouldn't worry what other people are saying. I would be a lot more patient if I didn't worry about everyone else. I always worry about everyone else. 

I am practicing patience. Or, rather, I'm learning how to practice patience by not getting myself everything I want when I want it. Mostly because I don't work anymore and I can't, but also because I don't need all four books right now. I can only read one at a time!

Sometimes circumstance guides us to the lessons we need to learn. I'm finding that if I pay attention things get a little easier- like waiting.

Because, honestly, I don't need to know right now. The results will be the same when I get them.

peace and love,
sunee