twisty turny

Just when you think know anything it all changes. Mistakes occur. Problems arise.

We have to accept mistakes. We all change. Emotionally, physically, our spirituality. Our kids change. They make mistakes and we all learn from them, theoretically.

There is so much to learn from the twisty turny road of life. Not just the big lessons. The everyday, go-with-the-flow, roll with it lessons.

I used to think I was what I do. That teaching defined me. I absolutely love teaching. I am a teacher. Now I have new obstacles that not only challenged that theory, but squashed the hell out of it. I love to teach, but I am more than what I do. I need to honestly and earnestly remember that each time my health declines.

If all I am is what I do, that leaves little else for dealing with the twists and turns. It prohibits learning the things that will inevitably change. We need to practice the yoga of life and twist and turn ourselves into what is. It seems backwards, but it helps.

So we're not just what we do. We're creative, spiritual, emotional parents, children, mates (and teachers). We are so many things that grasping too many ideas to KNOW might slow down our growth, and, ultimately, our happiness.

I plan to continue to love teaching. I couldn't help it if I tried, and it is most certainly twisty turny. I also plan to love the changes and twists and turns of my entire life. We're all learning. Some lessons are just a bit more difficult and stressful than others.

It's freeing to realize that nothing I know is set in stone, except for the love I have for my family. And, this twisty turny life is bursting with possibilities.

peace, love and twists,

sunee

ramblings of an achy woman

I've been spending too much time thinking and not enough time writing. It's true. I've thought myself into a frenzy of worry and confusion. This spirals into anxiety, and for me, increased pain.

So, rather than become a pain I decided it best to put it all in writing.

Thanksgiving always makes people, me at least, count our blessings and feel our gratitude for who we love and what fills our lives. I try to practice this always, but I've hit a few stumbling blocks that could possibly resemble pity parties.

Pity parties are lonely. Let's face it- who wants to whoop it up over someone's problems and/or worries/ They also don't allow for all the goodness and blessings I am actually so very thankful for.

So, I plan to write again. To let out the good and the bad in writing to free my spirit and find some balance once again.

It doesn't matter what hurts or what might be if my spirit is all out of whack. And, I seriously dislike pity parties. I like parties with cake.

We all need an outlet to keep balanced in this world of ups and downs and twists and turns. Some we would have never thought would happen. But, that doesn't excuse just dwelling there.

So, I plan to do what I love more often. Enjoy my loved ones, write more often, and, eat a lot of cake.

peace, love and blessings-

sunee

accidents happen

If I ever had an opportunity for a pit party it would be now. I had a terrible accident walking my dogs. They went after another dog and literally dragged me across the sidewalk several feet. I would up with a broken nose, six stitches and a whole lot of road rash and bruises- even on my face.

I felt sorry for myself when I saw how I looked and was in terrible pain. But the pity party was short. I realized that the dogs didn't mean to make this happen. (They still look at me sadly.) And, accidents happen. Though the impulse to feel sorry for myself came and went.

This accident doesn't change who loves me, or really, any aspect of my life. I missed one day of teaching and the school staff was so kind and gracious I felt blessed. And, my family took incredible care of me.

In life I'm learning to take the good with the bad. That leaves no time for poor me pity party time. I'm healing nicely and I feel much better. Feeling bad about the way I look is a bit vain (which I know I can be) so I plan to look in the mirror a bit less for a few days.

So, basically, accidents happen. But they don't define us. And, they don't really require a pity party. I think people should have an "I got through it" party instead. Celebrate what's good. It can be difficult, but haven't we all been to too many pity parties already?

peace and love,

sunee

change CAN be good

Many of us fear change, or at least feel uncomfortable at the thought of it. We have a routine and we like it, dang it!

Life, however, is fluid. There are ups and downs and sideways turns and things change.

Sometimes change is good. We get to experience new things. We stretch ourselves, and as such, evolve. I'm not saying it's comfortable or easy, just that it isn't all that bad.

I've gone through so many changes in the past year and a half it's almost unfathomable. Some of the changes were scary and hard. Some required strength and hard work. And some seem to be good fortune.

If I remained stiff as a board I'd be broken by now. So, I'm committed to rolling with the changes and finding all of the greatness in store for me. I'll be as fluid as someone as controlling as I tend to be can.

I do know for a fact that some change can be fulfilling.

And, who wants to be a stiff, stagnate board? Even a change of hairstyle or a revamping of our look can add a bit of pep to our steps and keep us fluid.

Sometimes it's a change of thinking that we need. In that case meditation helps. So do all sorts of tools like affirmation books, revisiting a creative hobby or even taking on a new hobby. Talking it through with someone who has your best interest at heart helps, too.

We live in a world in which the negatives often overshadow the positives. If we remove some of the negatives we can move closer to some peace and happiness. That, of course, takes more than fluidity, but also courage.

So, whether we're cleaning out our clothing closets or our proverbial closets, taking on a new venture, or just rolling with it, change can be good.

It's all how we look at it.

peace and love,

sunee

you can't always get what you want

Sometimes I have trouble waiting to get what I want. It's like all of the patience I have goes out the window because I WANT.

Wanting, in and of itself, isn't really all that bad. Except, maybe, when I think I NEED IT NOW.

This could be misdirected stress or anxiety over other things rather than just greed. I'm not a greedy person at all. I just get caught up in anxiety over certain things and I feel the only way to fix everything is to get the object NOW.

Of course, I have many tools at my disposal to deal with stress, anxiety and disappointment. How easy I forget to use them.

Basically I've spent the past 3 days as a big ball of stress, tangled up worse than a ball of yarn. I think it's important to take each moment and see that (in most cases) we have everything we need for right now.

Unfortunately I began to feel remorse over my stressed out behavior, which isn't health either. So, I slowed down, chilled out and did some relaxing things. I watched a little TV, I talked to a friend and I played some Scrabble. I even read from one of my daily affirmation books. (Funny, I was several days behind...)

Now I am unraveling myself and am no longer a ball of stress. I acknowledged what was causing my stress and decided to practice patience until I can get what I want. Not easy, but certainly doable.

I certainly don't want to start teaching again as a big ball of stress. I'm looking forward to it far too much.

So before you become a ball of stress over the wants take stock of what you really need and already have. It's easier on everyone, especially us. Plus, we'll probably smile more.

peace and love,

sunee

We have the power to make our day any way we want it to be. Of course, at 5AM I forgot that and I started off in negativity land. Everything sucked.

The day progressed and I realized, early thank goodness, that I can live in negativity land or I can move on and have a good day.

It's difficult with all of our challenges, great and small, to keep a smile on our face and trudge forward. It's easier, however, if we remember all that is good in our lives. We may not become easy and breezy immediately, but we may stress down a little. Take a deep breath, chill out...

I have many things to be thankful for and having a bad attitude isn't one of them. It wrinkles my face and takes away from good moments I'll miss if I'm just moaning and complaining.

I guess it comes back to what I'm always saying- life is a series of balancing acts. We may not love the current situation, but it doesn't define our whole lives. At least I'm not going to let it define me.

To leave negativity land take the first smile and have a better day.

peace and love,
sunee

Capable

Well, for the first time in a year and a half, I'm working again. With all of changes I've gone through during this time I was worried that one more might just throw me over the edge.

It's funny how we let conditions define us. I know I did. I wasn't a teacher or a writer, I was a woman with fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome. I was pained and that was it. I let it define and determine everything about my life.

But, if we let these things define us we limit the possibilities available to us. I know I am more then someone with difficult conditions. I have skills and knowledge to share. Maybe more so now that I've been through such a difficult time.

It's amazing what we are capable of when we let ourselves. I'm not implying that it will be easy for me, but sitting home wallowing in my discomfort and pain just intensified it. Talk about depression express! I was on it and didn't think I could get off.

I know I've said it before but it's a balancing act. We need to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. I used to work work work, never paying attention to how I felt in any of those areas.

Now I listen to my body, take time for myself and say no. (once in a while. I'm still working on that.) I used to live in fast-paced stresstown. I can't do that anymore, but I am capable of being productive and slowing down enough to avoid stresstown. Just pass that exit and head straight for peaceful land.

We're all on a journey and we don't have to be perfect. Life is a series of some pretty darn challenging events. Yet, we can't let those define us. We can find balance and be all we are meant to be.

I'm learning, little by little. I hope you all learn what you're capable of and do it.

peace and love,

sunee