I can

I have gotten into the terrible habit of saying, "I can't," to so many things since I've had issues with my health. I can't go here, I can't do that. I know, however, that many of us say, "I can't," because we feel so bogged down by all we have to do. I do that, too, but mainly because I don't think I'll feel well.

I'm not ignoring the fact that often we say, "I can't," because things feel insurmountable. When I get anxious I say, "I can't," to things that if I attacked one by one they would be no big deal. And, as far as the big deals are concerned, we can do our best to handle them.

The truth is we can do many things. Chores and minor responsibilities can actually wait while we enjoy time with family or friends. The "to do" list never ends anyway, does it? Mine hasn't.

So, where's the fun? The little (and big) pleasures in our lives? I'm not suggesting we all pack up and go to Hawaii or Vegas, though that would be incredible. If you can, I'm wonder what you are waiting for. For those of us on a tighter budget, we can opt for the kind of things that remind us why we work as hard as we do. The things we tend to forget how pleasurable they are.

Whether we're over stressed, over worked, over tired or over having pain, fatigue and other maladies, I believe we should say "I can," to the invitations we're offered. It can be a party, baby shower, a visit over tea with a friend or meeting people for a meal. We need to relax and experience these things. These simple pleasures are usually what the best memories are made of.

We can't do all of the things that come up, obviously. I had to cancel a crafting date with a good friend because I was having a very difficult time that day. I didn't feel well at all. And, a few times I had to cancel on people because we had a long series of car problems- I'm sure many people can relate to that.

Sometimes we're just tired or want to be in our own homes. We need that time for getting some things done and then relaxing without the worry of other people. That is a big, "I can't," for many people. If they're home they need to be attacking housework, or they brought their job home. I often say, "I can't," to resting because I feel I need to be productive even though I know I'll be able to do a bit more if I feel well. There's nothing wrong with putting those things aside and reading a good book or vegging in front of the TV. Or better yet, taking a nice afternoon nap.

Yet I write this knowing I have to start saying yes more often. I can always postpone if something comes up or I'm in a lot of pain. However, saying yes and finding pleasure in playing a game with the family just talking to a friend (or whatever makes you smile) reduces our negativity and makes the load seem a little lighter.

Maybe the more we say, "I can," the more we'll smile.

peace and love,

sunee

Capable

Well, for the first time in a year and a half, I'm working again. With all of changes I've gone through during this time I was worried that one more might just throw me over the edge.

It's funny how we let conditions define us. I know I did. I wasn't a teacher or a writer, I was a woman with fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome. I was pained and that was it. I let it define and determine everything about my life.

But, if we let these things define us we limit the possibilities available to us. I know I am more then someone with difficult conditions. I have skills and knowledge to share. Maybe more so now that I've been through such a difficult time.

It's amazing what we are capable of when we let ourselves. I'm not implying that it will be easy for me, but sitting home wallowing in my discomfort and pain just intensified it. Talk about depression express! I was on it and didn't think I could get off.

I know I've said it before but it's a balancing act. We need to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. I used to work work work, never paying attention to how I felt in any of those areas.

Now I listen to my body, take time for myself and say no. (once in a while. I'm still working on that.) I used to live in fast-paced stresstown. I can't do that anymore, but I am capable of being productive and slowing down enough to avoid stresstown. Just pass that exit and head straight for peaceful land.

We're all on a journey and we don't have to be perfect. Life is a series of some pretty darn challenging events. Yet, we can't let those define us. We can find balance and be all we are meant to be.

I'm learning, little by little. I hope you all learn what you're capable of and do it.

peace and love,

sunee