Polite responses

Whenever I (and probably you, too) run into someone or I'm in a group setting people tend to say, "How are you doing?" or, "How are you?" and so on. It's a normal and friendly greeting. So, how do those of us who have health issues respond without making the person sorry they asked in the first place?

There are several variables, of course. There might be someone who knows me very well asking. There might be someone my husband or other family members knows well asking, so they probably know I have health issues. There are people I know fairly well, so s/he might be genuinely asking. And, of course, there are those people I barely know asking.

To my good friends I tell the whole truth- details and sometimes a little venting. I need to talk about it and they don't expect a simple response. (Which is great because it gives my family a break from listening.)

To the people I hardly know I simply say, "I'm hanging in there," and then ask about how they are. This can be a tough one if you know everyone in your community because s/he probably knows you're sick with something. If they prod I say, "I'm counting my blessings," and move on. Literally. I say it was nice to see you and gracefully make my exit.

To the people I only know through family members I give him/her an update without leaving them depressed and feeling sorry for me. It's easy to tell when enough is enough by his/her body language. Too much info makes some people uncomfortable with a lack of what to reply.

If I'm seeing someone I know well but haven't seen in a while I give a gentle version of the truth. If h/she wants more details you'll know. They'll ask questions and add what they've heard etcetera.

I don't want to be downer to talk to. It was never part of my personality before and I'm not going to let be now.

Simply paying attention to his/her body language will not only stop you from being a downer, but also someone who knows when we're getting on the "too much information" highway.

Being polite can be difficult at times, but it makes me feel good. And who doesn't want that?

peace & love,
sunee

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