going with the flow

It's easy to see how a person can drive his/herself crazy trying to control everything. Besides feelings of self-doubt when things don't go according to "my plan," I also get anxious. What's going to happen?

I think life requires a great deal of surrender and flexibility. Things don't always go as planned, but that shouldn't cause us to ridicule ourselves or try harder to make our way the way.

There are so many tragedies in and around our lives- beyond our control. All we can do is sympathize, emphasize and offer love and encouragement to those around us.

I always wonder why many of us (well, me) cannot treat ourselves with that same compassion and realizations that life flows as it should and we're just along for the ride- hopefully trying to do what's right in a gentle, flexible way.

I want to let go of control. I need to let go of control. I'm losing a bit of my sanity just trying to control what I simply can't. I have limitations and I'm learning what they are bit by bit. Now I have to accept them.

It's the start of new year. Challenges and obstacles will fill our path, but I know it we take it easy and breezy with a genuine spirit we'll make it through. We don't need to be in charge.

So, I hope you'll join me in giving up control and be free to genuinely experience what's ahead.

peace and love,

sunee

reflections

As I reflect on this past year I feel as though I grew in many ways. That's not to say I don't have much more growth in store for me.

For one thing, I used to try to control EVERYTHING. Control, however, is a funny thing. In my case it doesn't just add the normal I'm-a-perfectionist stress. It causes me additional symptoms to my conditions- Fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome. I experience greater fatigue, additional pain to what is already chronic and, well, bad.

Control is misleading and overrated. It doesn't allow us to flow with the groove of life and it's kind of rude.

Instead I tried to allow people to help me. I took on teaching again- a situation that by it's very nature requires flexibility. I accepted others growth and change better than I ever had before. I tried to go with flow.

I even ventured out of my comfort zone and entered writing competitions. I will no longer let fear control me or let my need for perfection hinder me.

A I start a new year, with everyone else, I plan to be more accepting. Accepting of what I can do physically and accepting of those I love. I can let go of needing to do everything perfectly. It destroys.

In 2011 I plan to relax and just be. Not be afraid and not be controlling. Just be loving, peaceful, creative and good to my body and mind. That is how I will be good to those I love.

I hope my rambling reflections helped someone reflect on his/her own life. I've learned a lot and I certainly have A LOT more to learn. But not in a rush. Easy and Breezy.

happy new year. may you find blessings and joy.

peace and love,
sunee

twisty turny

Just when you think know anything it all changes. Mistakes occur. Problems arise.

We have to accept mistakes. We all change. Emotionally, physically, our spirituality. Our kids change. They make mistakes and we all learn from them, theoretically.

There is so much to learn from the twisty turny road of life. Not just the big lessons. The everyday, go-with-the-flow, roll with it lessons.

I used to think I was what I do. That teaching defined me. I absolutely love teaching. I am a teacher. Now I have new obstacles that not only challenged that theory, but squashed the hell out of it. I love to teach, but I am more than what I do. I need to honestly and earnestly remember that each time my health declines.

If all I am is what I do, that leaves little else for dealing with the twists and turns. It prohibits learning the things that will inevitably change. We need to practice the yoga of life and twist and turn ourselves into what is. It seems backwards, but it helps.

So we're not just what we do. We're creative, spiritual, emotional parents, children, mates (and teachers). We are so many things that grasping too many ideas to KNOW might slow down our growth, and, ultimately, our happiness.

I plan to continue to love teaching. I couldn't help it if I tried, and it is most certainly twisty turny. I also plan to love the changes and twists and turns of my entire life. We're all learning. Some lessons are just a bit more difficult and stressful than others.

It's freeing to realize that nothing I know is set in stone, except for the love I have for my family. And, this twisty turny life is bursting with possibilities.

peace, love and twists,

sunee

ramblings of an achy woman

I've been spending too much time thinking and not enough time writing. It's true. I've thought myself into a frenzy of worry and confusion. This spirals into anxiety, and for me, increased pain.

So, rather than become a pain I decided it best to put it all in writing.

Thanksgiving always makes people, me at least, count our blessings and feel our gratitude for who we love and what fills our lives. I try to practice this always, but I've hit a few stumbling blocks that could possibly resemble pity parties.

Pity parties are lonely. Let's face it- who wants to whoop it up over someone's problems and/or worries/ They also don't allow for all the goodness and blessings I am actually so very thankful for.

So, I plan to write again. To let out the good and the bad in writing to free my spirit and find some balance once again.

It doesn't matter what hurts or what might be if my spirit is all out of whack. And, I seriously dislike pity parties. I like parties with cake.

We all need an outlet to keep balanced in this world of ups and downs and twists and turns. Some we would have never thought would happen. But, that doesn't excuse just dwelling there.

So, I plan to do what I love more often. Enjoy my loved ones, write more often, and, eat a lot of cake.

peace, love and blessings-

sunee

accidents happen

If I ever had an opportunity for a pit party it would be now. I had a terrible accident walking my dogs. They went after another dog and literally dragged me across the sidewalk several feet. I would up with a broken nose, six stitches and a whole lot of road rash and bruises- even on my face.

I felt sorry for myself when I saw how I looked and was in terrible pain. But the pity party was short. I realized that the dogs didn't mean to make this happen. (They still look at me sadly.) And, accidents happen. Though the impulse to feel sorry for myself came and went.

This accident doesn't change who loves me, or really, any aspect of my life. I missed one day of teaching and the school staff was so kind and gracious I felt blessed. And, my family took incredible care of me.

In life I'm learning to take the good with the bad. That leaves no time for poor me pity party time. I'm healing nicely and I feel much better. Feeling bad about the way I look is a bit vain (which I know I can be) so I plan to look in the mirror a bit less for a few days.

So, basically, accidents happen. But they don't define us. And, they don't really require a pity party. I think people should have an "I got through it" party instead. Celebrate what's good. It can be difficult, but haven't we all been to too many pity parties already?

peace and love,

sunee

change CAN be good

Many of us fear change, or at least feel uncomfortable at the thought of it. We have a routine and we like it, dang it!

Life, however, is fluid. There are ups and downs and sideways turns and things change.

Sometimes change is good. We get to experience new things. We stretch ourselves, and as such, evolve. I'm not saying it's comfortable or easy, just that it isn't all that bad.

I've gone through so many changes in the past year and a half it's almost unfathomable. Some of the changes were scary and hard. Some required strength and hard work. And some seem to be good fortune.

If I remained stiff as a board I'd be broken by now. So, I'm committed to rolling with the changes and finding all of the greatness in store for me. I'll be as fluid as someone as controlling as I tend to be can.

I do know for a fact that some change can be fulfilling.

And, who wants to be a stiff, stagnate board? Even a change of hairstyle or a revamping of our look can add a bit of pep to our steps and keep us fluid.

Sometimes it's a change of thinking that we need. In that case meditation helps. So do all sorts of tools like affirmation books, revisiting a creative hobby or even taking on a new hobby. Talking it through with someone who has your best interest at heart helps, too.

We live in a world in which the negatives often overshadow the positives. If we remove some of the negatives we can move closer to some peace and happiness. That, of course, takes more than fluidity, but also courage.

So, whether we're cleaning out our clothing closets or our proverbial closets, taking on a new venture, or just rolling with it, change can be good.

It's all how we look at it.

peace and love,

sunee

you can't always get what you want

Sometimes I have trouble waiting to get what I want. It's like all of the patience I have goes out the window because I WANT.

Wanting, in and of itself, isn't really all that bad. Except, maybe, when I think I NEED IT NOW.

This could be misdirected stress or anxiety over other things rather than just greed. I'm not a greedy person at all. I just get caught up in anxiety over certain things and I feel the only way to fix everything is to get the object NOW.

Of course, I have many tools at my disposal to deal with stress, anxiety and disappointment. How easy I forget to use them.

Basically I've spent the past 3 days as a big ball of stress, tangled up worse than a ball of yarn. I think it's important to take each moment and see that (in most cases) we have everything we need for right now.

Unfortunately I began to feel remorse over my stressed out behavior, which isn't health either. So, I slowed down, chilled out and did some relaxing things. I watched a little TV, I talked to a friend and I played some Scrabble. I even read from one of my daily affirmation books. (Funny, I was several days behind...)

Now I am unraveling myself and am no longer a ball of stress. I acknowledged what was causing my stress and decided to practice patience until I can get what I want. Not easy, but certainly doable.

I certainly don't want to start teaching again as a big ball of stress. I'm looking forward to it far too much.

So before you become a ball of stress over the wants take stock of what you really need and already have. It's easier on everyone, especially us. Plus, we'll probably smile more.

peace and love,

sunee